Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Lily Cordially Invites You ...

I was never a normal child. Even my mother always told me that, but she didn't need to; I knew it for myself. I took the clothes off all my Barbies and wrapped her in lace instead and hated watching Scooby-Doo. I read Albert Camus, Jules Verne, Marquis de Sade, Sati and Ursula Le Guin and understood the socio-political nuances in each. Whilst my friends shopped for sweets and puzzles, I lusted after silk stockings, vintage jewelled hatpins and delicate underwear. I wore subtle eyeliner and tinted lip balm in place of the usual glittery eyeshadows and garish nail polishes. I had a fascination of female sexuality and sex. When I was about 11 the craze in the school playground one summer was marbles. I played it every now and then but failed to be riveted by the rarity index of the different sizes and throwing those pretty little glass balls at walls just didn't do it for me. Instead, I put a few up inside of me in the shower one morning and wandered around all day amazed at the feeling of those pretty little glass balls massaging my vaginal walls.

I haven't ever felt that I live in the right place. My views on life, how I interpret people and situations, even how my tastes and decisions are informed, what I believe about relationships, all seem ill at ease with the society in which I exist. It seems unnecessarily complex to explain, so I shan't, but suffice it to say - I see no wrong in taking money for giving a sexual experience. In fact, I think it is a valuable tradition that is greatly overlooked in our society. We pay for please in other forms of pleasure and entertainment so why, in a 'liberated' western society, should sex be any different? There is arguably more taboo surrounding the sex industry and even, on occasion, casual sex in this century then there has ever been, despite the fact that everyone is telling each other (and themselves) that we are freer than ever before. Ha.

I had entertained the idea of being some sort of courtesan from the age of about 9. The idea that the job itself existed on a concept of social transgression enticed me alone. But it was more than that. It is about passion, pleasure, delighting the senses, the mystique of character, challenging each other and oneself, the exploration of self and form, erotic artistry and the beauty of the spirit. It is about invloving each other in the playful essence of life.

Anyway, this post was not supposed to be about all the above. It was supposed to be an invitation. An invitation to join me on a voyage of experience and discovery. A voyage that begins with me, in London, in the spring of a new year. A spring which, for once, will fulfil its intentions of growth and renewal with the cultivation of a different Lily. One who blooms out of her previous habit of uneasily conforming to what is expected of girls of a certain age and who finally embraces her own hopes, wishes, ambitions and desires. A Lily who finally lives up to her own expectations of herself.

This is an invitation to share with me the highs the lows of my new life in London as a social escort and courtesan.

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